We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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