is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize