i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
