My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
