I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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