I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
