Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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