YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize