i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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