I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
