We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
