i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
