I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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