Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
