Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
