I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
