The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
