Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Success! We fucked roommates!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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