Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
