Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you guys were way drunker than both of me
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
