You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
