You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
