im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
