Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
