There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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