ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
