She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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