he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
