i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
