So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
