is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
