the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
