Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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