Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
