How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
