never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
