my being single is dangerous.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
