i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
