well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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