She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
