I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
