She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
