Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
