Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
