I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
