K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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