therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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