what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
