I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
