I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
