i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
