on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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