two words: eviction party
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I have already put on my inside pants.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
