Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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