Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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