i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
