I just saw a hot homeless man
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
