So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
