I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
