I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
