fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
