Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
