This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
