I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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