the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
